a spy in the house of love

author alexandra bracken

02 Oct
Like a shelf stocked full with fancy mustards, too many potential mates makes it harder to settle on just one. The surplus of singles in New York and L.A. means only that the single person’s wasteland is that much more vast: New York City’s 305-square-mile expanse offers over 8 million people to pick over. After a near decade of dating experience in that environment, my friend Joe Berkowitz tells me, the sheer volume of young singles in the city “gives you the sense that you could meet someone at any time. Most of the time, though, you don’t.” Another friend who uses an online dating site in the city says that the buffet of options means “everyone is looking out for someone better.”

Is Your City Making You Single?

I think there are a number of pluses to online dating—and I know people who have had plenty of success with it—but I honestly agree that this is one of the biggest hurdles you have to overcome when you’re trying to do it in a city like NYC.  I gave it the old college try, and I just can’t shake the sense that—as the article says—every person I went out on a date with was looking for someone better, or expected me to be someone I’m not.

P.S. It is way hard to meet people in NYC.